The Expendables 2 Game MINI-REVIEW

The Expendables 2 complete! This XBLA game takes roughly 10 hours to complete. It costs 1200MSP and comes with a total of 21 achievements and 400 gamerscore to be had. 

Note: You have to fully complete the game twice since the difficulties DO NOT stack.

I bought this game for a few reasons:

1) A friend asked me to play co-op with him (it features 4-player coop, which in most cases, is a great thing.)
2) It has Sly Stallone in it!
3) 400 Gamerscore
I went into this game 100% blind to what it was going to look or play like. It’s just so bad that it’s hard to express in words that are not the four-letter variety, ESPECIALLY for the asking price of $15! But I’ll try my best.

Expendables 2 is the least interesting hybrid of a twin stick shooter/Light gun -like sequences of fail on the Xbox 360. More so a twin stick shooter but, hell, it might be the only hybrid of the sort, and I pray it stays that way.  The Light Gun sequences of fail are exactly that, FAIL, to the 9th power!! You’re stuck with aiming a reticule around on the screen with your CONTORLLER while on rails or a set pathway. I don’t even think you can die during these sections, and there are quite a few of them thrown into the mix for bad measure. The only possible way it could have been worse is if they tried to tack on Kinect Support. I really don’t think I could have handled that on an emotional level.

Note to developers: Light Gun games SUCK without a light gun. Peanut Butter and Jelly is good, but not exactly desirable when the P or the J is missing in action. Make a game for a controller. Cool! Great! Make a game for Kinect. Yes! Exercise! Make a game that supports a Light Gun. Awesome! Light guns rock!! But damn you for designing a game and a good portion of its gameplay to work with a controller type that is not even the best option for the gameplay you created. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???? I’ll never understand this type of decision.
Gameplay is dung, graphics are crap, abilities/power-ups=super crap, voice acting is super-mega crapola on a stick! (Sly doesn’t even voice his character *RAGE MODE ACTIVATED*) It had some potential but it was clearly slapped together to coincide with the release of the movie….without any regard for a smidgen of quality control.
I really wanted to like and support this game since I’m a big Stallone fan, but I cannot recommend this heap of vile to anyone.

Not even to those just looking to blow shit up.

Save your money and go watch the movie instead. That’s most definitely cheaper IF you don’t buy concessions.

Rating: 3/10
Expendable as can be.